Review: Stolen Goat Hypervelocity Women’s Cycling Jersey

The Stolen Goat range of Bodyline cycling jerseys were created with a specific brief: to be performance orientated and stylish, without a huge price tag. At £60 the Stolen Goat Hypervelocity Women’s Cycling Jersey is decent value for money, and it’s nice to see such a bold design at a pretty affordable price point. I’ve been putting it through its paces over the past few weeks as we enjoy the final throes of summer.

Stolen Goat Hypervelocity Women’s Cycling Jersey: Design

If you’re not afraid of a horizontal stripe, and if fading into the background ain’t your thing, then we think The Technicolour Dream Goat is pretty fabulous.

(And yes, I did just manage to insert a Joseph reference into a cycling review – a world first, I would hope?)

Multicoloured stripes aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, granted. If you’re a cyclist who likes to look like a ninja on your bike, then it’s probably not the jersey for you.

Stolen Goat Hypervelocity Women’s Cycling Jersey: Sizing

For a British brand, the sizing is a bit on the small side. I expect to wear size large in Castelli (or XXXL in Assos…!) but would usually order a medium from British cyclewear brands. However, the medium I originally tried was so small that I looked unfortunately like a sausage bursting from its skin. (Of course, it’s possible that I’ve just been eating too many flapjacks.)

regular readers know that Matt is the zip obsessive in our household. What can I say? He doesn’t get out much…

The large fits perfectly. (Off bike, I wear size 12). More so if you have boobs to accommodate, I would recommend ordering a size up in this jersey for a bit of wiggle room.

Stolen Goat Hypervelocity Women’s Cycling Jersey: Features

For a mid-price cycling jersey, the Stolen Goat Bodyline is quite rich on features.

First up, it has a water resistant, zipped 4th pocket. Getting into pocket talk sounds pretty dull, but pockets are important to cyclists, aren’t they? I really expect a zipped pocket on jerseys now. I don’t like to keep my keys in my pouch pouch in case they scratch the screen, but nor do I want them jiggling around loose in a pocket. Call me paranoid, but I think a zipped pocket is a key feature. (No pun intended). (Ok, pun maybe intended).

the 4-way stretch fabric used to manufacture the jersey features UV protection which for a sun safety obsessive like me is a valuable addition.

Next: it has a good zipper. Now, regular readers will know that Matt is the zip obsessive in our household. (What can I say? He doesn’t get out much). It’s easy to overlook something like a zip, but if it’s crap, you’ll know about it. The Stolen Goat Bodyline jerseys feature YKK zips which open and close easily with one hand (useful when you find yourself heating up after going for a Strava segment) and lock in place when pushed down. YKK ZIP = A-OK.

In terms of rider comfort, Stolen Goat have thought things through. There is a neckline zip protector – after all, nobody wants a zip rubbing at the neck. A zip garage increases comfort. There are heat transfer neck labels, because scratchy neck labels are horrid and irritating. And, the 4-way stretch fabric used to manufacture the jersey features UV protection which for a sun safety obsessive like me is a valuable addition.

Stolen Goat Hypervelocity Women’s Cycling Jersey: Overall verdict

For a cycling jersey without any silicone grippers, it did remarkably little riding up which is good, because it drives me mad when I have to keep tugging a jersey down while I’m cycling.

The cut of the jersey is lovely: it’s sleek, flattering, and the perfect length. It’s a good shape for my – ahem – ample feminine curves. The fabric feels nice against the skin, and it’s fast to dry out, too. In terms of quality, I’d pitch the Stolen Goat Bodyline range firmly halfway between dhb and Rapha. While it lacks some of the refinement and technology of the most high end cycling brands, the cut and fabric put it above many of the big mass-market names.

I really like the stripes: there aren’t enough patterned cycling jerseys around for my liking and I enjoy wearing something that stands out. The palette isn’t exactly what I’d choose – the main colour is a slightly auberginey shade of purple which isn’t my thing – but I do like a multicolour jersey and I must say, it tones really well with my Bont shoes, This is Cambridge socks and Kask helmet… And for the Indian summer we’re enjoying at the moment, the rich jewel tones that make up the design look really striking.

You can order the jersey from Stolen Goat, and it is priced at £60.